Chances are
by Loveland
Summary: Severus sees Lily the night before her wedding to James, and does something that could change Lily's world. R & R Please. Thanks
1. Chapter 1

Chances are:

I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters. They all belong to JK Rowling.

R & R please. Thanks.

Chapter one:

The Night before Lilly's wedding to James Potter.

Lily was sitting in front of her vanity mirror. She brushes her hair, slowly and deliberately, looking into her mirror. She inspected her face. Her eyes a lovely green colour, her hair, shiny and red. Her face, sadly enough had spouted a couple of pimples, but nothing magic couldn't get rid of. Apart from that, she looked pretty enough but tomorrow she wanted to look beautiful. To feel beautiful. Behind her, on the bedroom door, hung her wedding dress that she had picked out with a friend a mere two weeks before the wedding. It was to be slightly informal wedding, nothing too big, just some close friends and family. Lily knew that really she and James just wanted to get hitched. Then there was a knock on the door.

"Yes?"

"Well, well, you look gorgeous the night before your wedding". Sirius said. Lily giggled. And then she tried to look stern.

"You shouldn't be here. Isn't it bad luck?" She asked.

"That's if the groom sees the bride. Since I'm merely the best man, I'm more than allowed to be here." He explained. And then he pulled out an envelope, addressed to "Lily Evans".

"Here. It arrived earlier for you." He handed it over to her.

"Thank you. And tell James, that he better look smashing tomorrow."

Sirius, while looking bemused, nodded, and left the room. Lily opened the letter, reading it slowly. It was a letter from Dumbledore, explaining that he was very sorry; he could not attend their wedding. But that he wished all the luck and love in the world. Lilly smiled. He was a sweet man, who always cared about everyone at Hogwarts. Then there was another knock at the door. Lily frowned. She had told Sirius to leave. Why would he come back? Then without waiting for an answer, the door swung open. There stood Severus Snape. Lily gasped, shocked, she had not thought she would see him ever again.

"Severus. What are you doing here?" Lily said, rattled by his presence. He had a way of looking deep into your soul.

"Forgive me, for barging in on your home. It is out of character for me to do this. But I knew I would never forgive myself, if I did not at least try." He explained.

"Try what?" Now, Lily was twirling a piece of her hair around her finger, nervously. Severus was not known for doing spur of the moment things. He was cunning, calculating.

"Lily. I am sorry for calling you the filthy name that I will not speak of now. I was a coward then. I was a mere child, not a man at all." She shook her head, she had a feeling she knew what would happen next. Or at least what he would say next.

"Lily. I am here to beg of your forgiveness." Then without realising what he was doing, Severus swept Lily up in his arms and kissed her. A kiss that was long-over due. Lily kissed back, before pulling away, coming to her senses.

"I am getting married tomorrow. How can you come and just sweep in, thinking all is forgiven?" Lily demanded to know. "And how can you kiss me, knowing I'm engaged to another man?"

"No, of course not. I'm not a fool, Lily." He spat out. "I was merely wondering. I… I'm ashamed to say this. But I'm not sure I could forgive myself for letting this opportunity go." He swallowed as if that had been a difficult thing to say.

Lily sat, shocked. She loved James, for sure. Yes, he could be arrogant, and rude to others. He thought a lot of himself. But he would be a good husband, and a great father. Severus, on the other hand, was at times cold, or hardened by the world. He wasn't what you would call husband material. As a result of this, Lily had pushed her feelings down, deep inside and chosen the more appropriate man to marry.

"Severus, I don't know what to say." She struggled to come up with the words to say what she meant.

"Fine. I'd say from your clumsy attempt at being coherent, you have made it more than clear. I'm sorry to have bothered you, and wish you years of luck and happiness with James Potter." Severus spat. With that he turned on his heel. The door slammed shut behind him. Tears welled up in Lily's eyes. And soon she began to blame herself. Why did she not go after him?

Severus' heavy footsteps pounded the pavement. He swept his cape around his thin figure, braving the chill to hurry back to his hotel. He was angry with himself. Why did he think Lily would just up and leave James for him?

"Of course she wouldn't you fool." He said out loud to himself. He loathed to think of her marrying that oaf. James Potter. An arrogant man, full of himself with a lack of respect for others. And his friends: Sirius Black, who was nothing more than a carbon copy of James, werewolf Lupin, a vicious creature indeed. And Peter Pettigrew, a mere wannabe, in their little circle. For some unknown reason, Lily had been drawn to their group, and then to James Potter, when they were all in school, at Hogwarts. Severus shuddered to think of the beautiful woman that was Lily, and the fact that she had chosen to marry James. Of course it was completely understandable that James would fall for Lily – She, like her name, was a beautiful flower. She was kind, and saw a special light in everyone.

"Including myself" Severus muttered to himself, as he opened his hotel room door. Inside, was a small bed, a club chair that had seen better days, and table and chairs. It was not much, but then Severus never needed much. He sat down in the chair, and rubbed his eyes, they felt watery and sore. He had come to win back Lily and now realised he went about it all wrong. But now, there were no more chances. It was over, and Severus had lost. James Potter had won. He was to be alone for the rest of his life. Severus was determined to now harden his heart. Love had no place in a rational world. Or at least in his heart. Severus vowed to close his heat off, to never let another person get that close again, that night.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

I do not own Harry Potter or any of the other characters. They all belong to JK Rowling.

He had come to win back Lily and now realised he went about it all wrong. But now, there were no more chances. It was over, and Severus had lost. James Potter had won. He was to be alone for the rest of his life. Severus was determined to now harden his heart. Love had no place in a rational world. Or at least in his heart. Severus vowed to close his heat off, to never let another person get that close again, that night.

Lily laid in bed, thinking about that day. The moon shone brightly into her room, making it easy for her to look at her wedding dress, hanging on the door. The white material looked pure against the dim backdrop of the dark room. She thought back to the day of her engagement to James.

"_Lily, you know how I feel about you". James had stuttered. Lily had smiled and nodded, knowing what was coming. James had reached into his pocket, and pulled out a small ring box, which he opened, as he was kneeling in the park._

"_Would you do me the honour of becoming my wife?" Lily had been shocked. Though she knew it was going to happen, it was still an unbelievable bolt from the blue that James was asking her to marry him. _

"_Yes. Oh god, yes!" Lily had said, as James happily slipped the ring onto her finger. _

Now, lying in bed, Lily fingered the ring, looking at it. She loved James, she knew. But was it real love? Lily had often wondered, and even asked her friend, Alice, how one knows when they're in love. Alice had replied, rather cryptically,

"You just know. No hesitations. No questions. Only answers". Lily knew though she had questions about James. Though he loved her, he could be selfish. He could be emotionally selfish, withholding love, pouting if things didn't go his way. His mother had laughed it off, saying it was the Potter men's ways. Lily was scared. She had had a knot in her stomach for months. But she had ignored it to forge ahead with the wedding anyway. But now, with marriage and children staring her in the face, she could no longer ignore her feelings. She had always had feelings for Severus. She knew he could be kind, and even sweet sometimes.

What if James didn't change? Should she stay in this relationship and hope for the best? Was that fair to James or her? Should she give Severus a chance?

Lily must have fallen asleep while pondering these questions that appeared to have no answer because the next thing she knew it was morning and Alice was waking her up, saying "Lily…. Lily?"

"I'm up." Lily said groggily.

"You have to get up and have breakfast. And then start getting ready."

Lily sat up in bed, nodding at her friend. After Alice left her alone, Lily thought back onto her questions that continued to circle her heart. She realised though now she had started on this road with James. She could not run out on him. She would not. It would not be the honourable thing to do. Lily ate her breakfast, her heart pounded nervously. She knew what she had to do. She had to marry James, become his wife, and have children with him, like she had promised when he proposed.

The next day, Severus opened up the _Daily Prophet_, reading the articles inside. He closed it. Severus closed his eyes. He was sure that Lily and James were married by now. He was sure Lily looked beautiful, in a white dress, and that James smiled arrogantly having won. Severus paced back and forth in his small room before slamming his hand into the wall. A sense of rage built up in side of himself. He was angry with himself. He should never have spoken to Lily. He truly was a fool for doing so. He was unsure of where to go next. His plan for Lily had not worked out. He had hoped that she would maybe reconsider a relationship with him. And that somehow they would work out an arrangement of some sort. Or something like that. It occurred to him now that he hadn't really thought through the plan at all. With no plan, no Lily, no nothing, Severus left the room in a rage.

Draining the glass in front of him, Severus could feel his throat burning with the alcohol sliding down it. In this seedy bar, misery smothered him, as he choked back a cry. Soon his throat was numb, as his feelings would be too. Drinking never made things better but Severus believed it never hurt to try it out anyway.

"Don't you think you've had enough?" The bartender asked, looking concerned through his glasses. Severus shook his head, and said

"Two more please." The bartender sighed, shaking his head, before pouring out two more drinks.

As he downed these drinks too, Severus pulled out a letter from his jacket pocket. He read it again, though he had practically committed to memory the entire note already.

_Dear Severus,_

_How are you, old chum? _

_I've spending a lot of time with the others; we're putting the plan into action, soon. It'll be great once we rule over the Muggles. _

_Are you sure you won't join us? You have nothing else to lose. And remember, Magic is might! _

_Yours,_

_Lucius Malfoy._

Severus' eyes watered as the page blurred before him. He wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Now that Lily had made her choice, Severus had to make his. Malfoy was right. Severus had little else in his life to lose – Lily was gone already.

Cheers erupted from a small garden area. Several men clapped their hands, whooping, and cheering on the scene that unfolded before them. Lily and James walked down the aisle, holding hands. Putting her finger to her lips, Lily shushed them.  
"Calm down, ok?" James said, hushing down his friends. Lily looked at James. Though he was quieting his friends, he had a broad smile on his face, replacing a permanently concerned look etched in his features. Lily felt guilty. How could she have thought about leaving James? When he had been so sweet, and this had been one of the best days of her life? She touched her lips gently, feeling the remains of their kiss. She felt guilty for having thought of Severus, and his passionate kiss from the night before. Though James was who she loved, she could not leave Severus behind. He continued to lurk in her mind.

That night, as they laid in bed, James whispered to Lily,

"What are you thinking about?" He tenderly touched her face, pushing her auburn hair out of her eyes. Lily smiled, and shrugged. Her eyes lowered, not looking into James' questioning eyes.

"Nothing really. I'm a bit tired, shall we go to sleep?"

"Of course. Today was a big day, my dear." James kissed his wife softly on the cheek.

Lily turned onto her side, feeling James wrapping his arms around her waist. The first lie of their marriage. Lily had been thinking about Severus. About his lips, the kiss, and all those times in the forest when they were kids. She fell asleep with visions of Severus' lips touching her lips.

To be continued……


	3. Chapter 3

Chances Are:

Chapter Three:

I don't own any of the characters. They all belong to JK Rowling.

R &R please.

That night, as they laid in bed, James whispered to Lily,

"What are you thinking about?" He tenderly touched her face, pushing her auburn hair out of her eyes. Lily smiled, and shrugged.

"Nothing really. I'm a bit tired, shall we go to sleep?"

"Of course. Today was a big day, my dear."

Lily turned onto her side, feeling James wrapping his arms around her waist. The first lie of their marriage. Lily had been thinking about Severus. About his lips, the kiss, and all those times in the forest when they were kids. She fell asleep with visions of Severus' lips touching her lips.

"Severus, you're making the right choice. I'm glad you decided to let that little Mudblood go." Lucius said, clapping Severus on the back, nearly knocking him over. Severus stumbled a little, but then straightened up, and smiled at Malfoy. There was a large crowd of people, mostly Death Eaters, but some that appeared to be newcomers to the Dark side.

"Now, the ceremony will begin soon. You will receive your Death Mark, which will keep you connected to the Dark Lord." Lucius smiled as though this was a great gift bestowed to only those who deserved it. Severus' heart ached excruciatingly; knowing once he went through with this, there was no going back. He would now be a Death Eater, like Malfoy, like others.

"Ah, Lucius, I see you have brought a friend tonight". The crowd went silent, as Lord Voldemort joined the crowd, stepping through it to come closer to Lucius and Severus, who now was breathing fast, but quietly.

"Yes, my Lord. This is Severus Snape, the man I told you about. He was in Slytherin at Hogwarts. He, I assure you, will be faithful servant to you." Lucius bowed deeply before the tall figure standing facing him.

"Yes, I remember." His voice seemed to take on a hissing quality. Severus bowed as well before him, his stomach in knots.

"Well, then, now that everyone is here, we will commence the Marking process." Voldemort turned away from them, and faced the crowd, addressing everyone in the forest that night. In the middle of the crowd, a fire flickered brightly, though Severus knew it was not for warmth. Voldemort gestured for Severus to come closer to him. Severus moved towards the centre of the crowd, closer to Voldemort and the fire.

"You are ready, I'm sure?" It was not a question, more a statement Severus knew.

He nodded, holding out his left arm. Voldemort gripped it, his cold hand wrapping around the arm, inspecting it. For what, Severus knew not.

"Hand me your wand." Voldemort demanded Severus who passed it over quickly. Severus' heart pounded in his ears, the blood rushing to his head.

Later, Severus inspected his arm himself. It now held a Death Mark, still and silent for now, but if anyone used it to call the Dark Lord, it would burn and wriggle around on his arm. He rolled down his sleeve, satisfied with the Mark, if one could be. His flesh still hurt badly, the pain shooting up through his arm as he moved it.

Later Severus went down Knockturn Alley, tired of staying alone in his small room with nothing but his Death Mark as company.

"Well, how does it feel? Now you're one of us!" Lucius said, clapping him on the back, handing him a drink of firewhisky. Severus took the drink, feeling a burning sensation down his throat as he threw back the drink.

"So how does it feel?" Malfoy repeated.

"Good, good." Severus choked out, wanting Malfoy to leave him alone. He did not wish to speak about this.

"Well, I'm sure Voldemort has great plans for you. Mark my words, your life will be a grand one now." Malfoy said, suddenly solemn.

Severus nodded, and then raised his glass to meet Lucius'. As their glasses clinked, others cheered, praising the Dark Lord.

Alone in his room, away from the crowd of Death Eaters, Severus looked into the mirror hanging on the wall. He was disgusted with himself. Lily would hate him right now. The Mark on his arm burned, not with a call, but with fury. But as he stared at his face in the mirror, tears rolling down his cheeks, he realised he did not look different. He was still Severus Snape. Son of Eileen Prince and Tobias Snape. Nothing and everything had changed tonight.

Lily stared at the newspaper in front of her, holding the news of the Death Eaters, and their so-called joyful fun, last night. The moving pictures showed Death Eaters, shouting joyfully, waving their wands around, celebrating their Dark Lord and his fine work. Lily shook her head. She had known that this was coming but Lily had hoped in her heart that she was wrong. But now the Death Eaters were loud and proud of their mission. Lily and James feared for their lives at first, but they were safe for now. Dumbledore had kept them safe.

Gleefully shouting, brandishing wands, the Death Eaters were ecstatically throwing out red sparks left, right and centre. Severus loathed the pleasure coursing their veins, as they continued to celebrate their Dark Lord, their mission. Severus closed his eyes briefly, but then opened them again. The screams wouldn't leave his mind, piecing his soul. Voldemort's servants had left a trail of destruction in their wake, killing Muggles, and wizard alike. Severus found it hard to reconcile that this was his life now. But he had made his choice and had to play the part. Leaving the Death Eaters had crossed his mind many, many times, however the deaths of such people who tried to leave stopped him. The Death Eaters were a gang in which you could only leave in death.

To be continued……


	4. Chapter 4

Chances Are:

Chapter Four:

I don't own the Harry Potter characters. They all belong to JK Rowling.

R & R please.

Gleefully shouting, brandishing wands, the Death Eaters were ecstatically throwing out red sparks left, right and centre. Severus loathed the pleasure coursing their veins, as they continued to celebrate their Dark Lord, their mission. Severus closed his eyes briefly, but then opened them again. The screams wouldn't leave his mind, piecing his soul. Voldemort's servants had left a trail of destruction in their wake, killing Muggles, and wizard alike. Severus found it hard to reconcile that this was his life now. But he had made his choice and had to play the part. Leaving the Death Eaters had crossed his mind many many times, however the deaths of such people who tried to leave stopped him. The Death Eaters were a gang in which you could only leave in death.

Lily wept. Big fat tears rolled down her face, splashing onto the page in front of her. It read:

_Dear Mrs Lily Potter,_

_Mother and Father have passed on. It was a terrible accident, but at least now they are at peace. There is funeral on in the next week or so, if you should like to attend. After that, there will be a reading of the will. As you know, they will have left the house to us. I wish to sell it unless you would like to keep it. But as you know, Spinner's End is not a good area, especially for children. _

_Please reply in a timely manner._

_Yours truly,_

_Mrs Petunia Dursley _

Lily could not believe that her parents had died. It felt as though her heart had been torn open. Her parents… They had always been so proud of her. Of her magical abilities. Unlike her older sister. Somewhere in the summer before Hogwarts, their bond had broken, never to be repaired sadly. It broke their parents' hearts that their daughter never repaired their relationship. And now with them dead, and gone, Lily and Petunia were sure to grow further and further apart.

The last thread of any bond they had snapped at the hearing of the will. Petunia and Vernon Dursley sat primly upon the chairs in the lawyer's office, wearing power blue and dark brown suits respectively. Petunia eyed James suspiously. He wore black cape, covering a white shirt and black pants. His hair was as wild as ever. He had not shaved for a couple of days. Lily felt for the first time embarrassed by him. James looked scruffy, unkempt somehow in the chic office in London. A man sat in front of them, behind a desk. A plaque told them his name was Mark Johnson. He wore a grave look, while his eyes looked weary. Shuffling some papers, he spoke first

"Mr and Mrs Evans had few possessions. In this will, which you can contest if you like, they have stated that their house in Spinner's End, is to go to quote "Our loving daughter of whom we are very proud, Lily Evans" end of quote, and to Mrs Dursley, they leave their collection of china plates."

Lily gasped. Why had their parents only left the house to her? She turned to Petunia who had stood up. Brushing her self off, removing imaginary dust, Petunia then said

"Come on Vernon, we must go now." Vernon looking shocked, then rearranged his face into a stern look. He followed his wife out of the room. Lily ran after them in to the small waiting room.

"Petunia." Her sister stopped but did not turn around, leaving Lily to look at a smooth blue back.

"I'm…. sorry. I thought that…" Petunia cut Lily off, by snapping "You thought wrong. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go now." With that, Petunia and Vernon left, leaving Lily standing there. Then she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"Don't worry about them, god if their noses were any higher, they'd have nose bleeds."

Lily turned to her husband, her eyes filling with tears. "How can you joke at a time like this?" Lily then ran out of the building.

James found Lily sitting under a tree. She was busy shredding leaves.

"Honey? Are you ok?" James asked, sitting down next to his wife. James was at lost with Lily. He did not know what to do. Truth be told, he disliked her sister intensely; he could not understand why Lily loved Petunia so. But for Lily, Petunia had been a friend, a protector. Now she was gone from Lily's life. Like all of Lily's childhood things. Her parents were dead, Petunia had walked out. And Severus. Oh Severus. He had been pushed out by Lily.

Severus rested on the bed, staring at the ceiling. It was cracked, with bits of paint falling off. He had a job to do. He did not want to do it, but when the Dark Lord asks something of you, and he owns your soul, you do it. Slowly getting up, Severus pulled on the clothes he had laid out the night before.

Severus stared up at the massive castle standing before him, surprised to see himself here again. But now he needed a job, teaching. He had applied for the Defence against the Dark Arts, but something told him that Dumbledore would not give him the job. It did not matter anyway. Severus merely needed a job to work there, to be in the school grounds. This is what the Dark Lord has asked of him. Swallowing hard, Severus walked up to the door, which swung open. Dumbledore stood there, as though he had known Severus would come.

"Severus." He nodded, gesturing for Severus to come in. Looking apprehensive, Severus stepped inside his old school.

"Dumbledore." Severus nodded, in a friendly kind of way to Dumbledore. Dumbledore could not hide his contempt for Severus. Severus did not care. He merely needed a job. He did not need Dumbledore's approval of his life.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five:

"Severus." He nodded, gesturing for Severus to come in. Looking apprehensive, Severus stepped inside his old school.

"Dumbledore." Severus nodded, in a friendly kind of way to Dumbledore. Dumbledore could not hide his contempt for Severus. Severus did not care. He merely needed a job. He did not need Dumbledore's approval of his life.

"Follow me. We will discuss this in my office." Dumbledore then turned on his heel, and strode out of the room. Severus followed Dumbledore, who led him up some beautiful stairs. The stairs were covered in a red carpet that fitted in with the old-fashioned style of the castle. While most of it looked as though it hadn't changed since Severus was at school, some pictures had been moved, some drapes had been updated. They walked for sometime in silence. Then Dumbledore stopped, he had reached his office it seemed. Opening the door, Dumbledore entered first, rather than offering to allow Severus to go in first. Severus quietly went in behind him. Dumbledore sat upon a wooden chair, with a silk pillow under him. He gestured quickly for Severus to sit down. Severus did so.

"Now. I know why you're here." Dumbledore stated. Severus opened his mouth to speak, to defend himself, his actions. But Dumbledore held up a finger, silencing him.

"Let me finish. You're here for a job, correct? You wish to become the defence against the Dark Arts professor?" Dumbledore said, leaving Severus wondering how it was that Dumbledore knew all. He lowered his head, ashamed in some ways of this job the Dark Lord had him do.

"Yes." he said simply.

"Well. What can I say? You would make a good Defence against the Dark Arts teacher, I must admit."

Severus looked up, shocked.

"However, I do not wish to give you that position. I think that you would suit being a potions professor instead. It was your best subject when you were younger."

Unable to think of anything to say, Severus simply said nothing. Then he realised that perhaps this would not be good news for the Dark Lord.

"I would have to think about it first." Severus spoke quietly, not sure if he was speaking out loud or thinking quietly inside.

Dumbledore looked disgusted. A look Severus never saw as a young boy at Hogwarts. But now, he was no longer a child, but an adult.

"You mean, you will go and discuss with your 'master'." It was not a question. It was a matter-of-fact statement. Severus flushed with shame. Then he nodded, without looking up from his lap where he was studying his hands.

"Very well. Send a letter tomorrow with your response." With that, the conversation was over. Severus let himself out.

Severus' knees hurt. The floor was hard, and Severus yearned to get up. In front of him, stood the Dark Lord. "You spoke to Dumbledore?" he asked. Severus nodded.  
"And what did he say?"

"He would not give the position of the Defence against the Dark Arts. However he did offer me… us, the position of Potions." The Dark Lord was silent. Severus looked up. He seemed to be in deep thought. "Very well. We will play by his rules… For now. Take that job, and report back to me from Hogwarts. Yes, that will work perfectly with my plans." Then piecing eyes gazed at Severus. "Befriend Dumbledore, make him think that you have changed."

Just like the conversation at Hogwarts, this conversation ended abruptly. "Come, worm tail." Severus was left, alone in the room.

Sitting in his small motel room, Severus frowned, contracting on a penning a note to Dumbledore.

"_Dear Professor Dumbledore,_

_I have thought over your kind offer, and have decided to accept it happily. _

_I thank you for this opportunity._

_Yours,_

_Severus Snape."_

Pleased with it, Severus then handed the letter to a small owl, who was waiting on the window sill. He watched as the owl grew smaller and smaller in the sky.

"Lily, I'm sorry about your parents, and your sister." James said. Lily laid on the bed, facing away from James.

"I know you are." She said softly. "I just wish to be alone right now." James hung his head.

"Alright, I'll just leave this glass of water here, and go." Lily waited until she heard his footsteps receded from the room, and the door shut quietly. Lily faced the ceiling. It was white, with spidery cracks in one corner. When she was sure James was downstairs, Lily got up. Pulling on a black coat, she buttoned it up. Lily forced open a window, and climbed out. She breathed in the brisk air. The streets were quiet for this time of the day. The sun was slowly setting. Lily looked around, before deciding on following the footpath before her. The leaves crutched under Lily's boots, as she walked quickly. The wind was fierce, causing her to pull the coat tighter around her.

Soon, Lily found a small pub. It looked like a muggle one. She decided, no matter, she just wanted a drink. Surely muggle's drinks were the similar, if not the same. The pub, despite it's outward appearance, was actually quite large inside. It had an old-fashioned feel, with candle sticks hanging on the walls, lighting the room, though not very brightly. There were only a few people, perhaps regulars there. Lily sat down, and removed her coat. The room was delightfully warm, a far cry from the outside world. She ordered a gin and tonic, a drink she had read in a muggle romance novel one time. She hoped it wouldn't be too strong.

Severus wandered the streets. The sun had nearly disappeared from sight, the moon quickly rising. Without the sun, the streets were cold and the night air biting. Severus had received a reply from Dumbledore earlier that afternoon. Severus was to move into Hogwarts the following week. The Dark Lord was pleased by this progress. It was planned that Severus would be a spy for the Death Eaters at Hogwarts. This meant that Severus was responsible for watching other teachers, for reporting what he heard and saw back to Voldemort This was a great task, and if he did not fulfil it well, the Dark Lord had made it clear there would be no use for him in the future. Severus could not fail at this task.

The small pub caught his eye. The sign read "The Bewitching Toad." A interesting name, Severus thought to himself. Pushing the door open, a warm atmosphere enveloped him. It felt nice on his skin, after the wind whipped at it. Sitting at a barstool, he observed the room. Mostly older muggles, here after a day's work. Then he saw a small woman. Red hair peeked out of her hat. She looked familiar, but she couldn't be.

Lily looked at Severus, shock in her eyes. They were still as green as the day he first saw them. "Severus?" Lily's voice sounded as musical as ever. He just nodded, surprised to see her again, since that awful night.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, her hands wrapped around a small glass.

"I just was walking." Severus didn't feel he could finish the sentence.

"Do you want go leave? Let's go somewhere where we can talk better." Lily suggested, abandoning her glass, and pulling on her coat once more. Severus nodded, pushing the door open.

Once more in the cold air, Lily blew on her hands to keep them warm. Severus resisted the urge to wrapped his arms around her.

"Do you live around here?" Lily asked. Severus shook his head. Then explained,

"I'm renting a room near by."

Lily gestured for him to lead the way. They walked silently down the path. Lily, without even thinking about it, slipped her hand into his. Severus felt Lily's small warm hand gripping his cold one. He smiled to himself.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six:

Lily gestured for him to lead the way. They walked silently down the path. Lily, without even thinking about it, slipped her hand into his. Severus felt Lily's small warm hand gripping his cold one. He smiled to himself.

Inside the small, bare room, Lily sat down onto the only chair in the room. Severus watched her pull her coat off, and fold it carefully into her lap. He loved to just watch Lily, her actions and movements, watch her expressions, and most of all her eyes. They were a deep green today, full of life. Lily shook her head, letting bits of leaves and whatnot fall to the ground. Her red hair shimmered down her shoulders, falling gracefully upon her blouse.

Severus strode across the room, nervous. He'd never been this close to anyone, let alone Lily before.

"Coffee? Tea?" He asked, abruptly. Then mentally kicked himself for doing so. He knew he came across as rude at times.

Lily just smiled. "Tea would be lovely thank you." She'd always did have such good manners. Busying himself with making the tea, Severus allowed Lily time to take in her surroundings. The room was small, dingy and very dark. There was little natural light coming through, though not surprising as the blinds were pulled shut. The florescent light flickered ominously, swinging above her head. Finally, Severus appeared in front of her and handed her a small mug. Curling her hand around it, Lily breathed in the warm milky smell of tea.

Severus sat down onto the bed, watching Lily once more. Taking small sips of her tea, her face gradually gained more colour after being out in the cold.

"What?" Severus blinked.

"You're staring at me." Lily said, frowning, smoothing down her hair.

"Yes. I'm sorry… It's just that you look the same as before." He explained. Lily laughed.

"How did you think I would look? Older? Different somehow?" She questioned.

"No, it's just that so much has happened." Severus looked down into his mug.

"I know." Lily said quietly. "I married James. You're with…. Them." Severus sighed, rubbing his temples. He loathed to be reminded of the choices he made in life. Then he felt a cool touch on his wrist. "It's ok. I don't hate you. We all make choices, some bad and some good."

Severus laughed ruefully. Lily was lovely but sometimes he wondered if she saw people for who they were rather than what she thought they were. "Lily, I've made a choice that will affect everyone. You, me, the whole wizarding community."

An uncomfortable silence ensured. Lily's hand remained on his wrist. Severus enjoyed her touch. Her hands were smooth, and soft, pleasing to feel. Without thinking, Lily leaned over and kissed Severus gently. She ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the slight greasiness to it. Lily felt his hand on the back of her neck, warm and smooth.

A/N: Sorry it's so short! I'll try and do a longer one next time.


	7. Chapter 7

An uncomfortable silence ensured. Lily's hand remained on his wrist. Severus enjoyed her touch. Her hands were smooth, and soft, pleasing to feel. Without thinking, Lily leaned over and kissed Severus gently. She ran her fingers through his hair, feeling the slight greasiness to it. Lily felt his hand on the back of her neck, warm and smooth.

The next morning Lily awoke as the sun streamed in onto her face. Startled, she realised that it was seven 'o clock in the morning. James would be wondering where she was. Or had been all night. Climbing out of the bed, she pulled on her jumper. She looked over at the window, it showed a windy day. Sighing, she pulled on her trousers, and then her shoes. Severus woke up, saying softly "Where are you going?"

"I have to go back to James. He'll wonder where I've been."

"Can't you stay a bit longer?" Severus said, looking at Lily. She shook her head.

"I must go, I'm sorry."

Severus then turned hard. "Fine, leave then." He turned away from her, pulling the thin sheet around himself.

Lily started towards the door, then stopped.

"Severus, if it's meant to be, chances are we'll find each other again."

There was no response from Severus, who remained with his back to her.

Lily opened the door, the hinges creaked loudly. Once out in the cold day, she felt tears run down her face.

Once Severus was sure Lily was gone, he got up. Shaking his head, he cursed himself. What was wrong with him? Why couldn't he be kind and gentle?

Frustrated with himself, Severus threw on some clothes. He needed to prepare for working at Hogwarts. He needed new clothes, and some potions ingredients.

Lily slipped her key into the lock of her home. Before she could turn it, James threw the door open.  
"Lily! Where have you been?" He said. Lily looked at her husband. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair sticking up everywhere. He looked scared, worried and tired.

"I'm sorry. I needed to get away from here. I'm sorry." Lily felt tears running down her face once more. She felt James wrap his arms around her. She was enveloped into a strong hold.

"It's ok." James said shushing her sobs. He led Lily inside where she was put to bed. She slept for the rest of the day.

Back in his room, after his uneventful trip to the shops, Severus drank some tea slowly. He thought back over his night with Lily. It was almost too precious to think about. Though he wanted to savour every moment. Every breath and sigh. Every touch and feeling. He could hardly believe that Lily had 

allowed this to happen. Though Severus, in his crude moments, had wondered what it would be like, he had always refrained from thinking too deeply about it. Now, alone in this dark room, Severus allowed his mind to wander over these moments. To relive them in his head. Remeberiung how he ruined it all with his harsh ways. The bitterness inside Severus ate him up, and swallowed him whole. He could never be kind to anyone, not even Lily. This he regretted.

The next few nights, and days passed by, slowly. Lily tried her best to forget about Severus. To erase him from her mind. She turned her attentions to James, who was still worried after her disappearance. Making love with James did little to ease her mind. Though she loved his touch against her skin, it only reminded her of the night with Severus. So she tried to fill the days with work. She wrote letters to family and friends, cleaned almost obsessively, and cooked elaborate meals. James was pleased, thinking Lily had settled into their new life, enjoying being a stay-at-home wife. Little did James know that Lily was trying to protect herself, and him from her secret. Though Lily often told James everything about her – There was little he didn't know – She could never tell him about Severus.

Soon, Severus had to leave for Hogwarts. Dumbledore had requested the teachers come early, so they may go over what was to happen that year. Severus was nervous. Not only did he have to spy on Dumbledore, and report to the Dark Lord, he also had to teach a bunch of kids. Children who would mock him behind his back, make up jokes about him. Shaking these thoughts from his head, he began to pack his things. He had a long journey ahead of him.

Riding on the train, Severus was left alone with his thoughts. Trees dashed by, looking more and more blurred as the train went on its journey to Hogwarts. The other teachers on the train sat with each other, Severus preferring to sit by himself. It was like his days back as a student at Hogwarts. Before he and Lily stopped being friends. He remembered those lonely days. Joining the Death Eaters did not fill the void in his heart. He was still as lonely as ever.

Arriving at Hogwarts, Severus watched the other teachers being greeted by Dumbledore. Then the headmaster came over to Severus, and shook his hand.

"I'm pleased to see you here. Come into the Great Hall." Then Dumbledore addressed the others.

"We are to have a feast, then we will go over the rules of Hogwarts – There are some new teachers this year – and organize rooms." He then gestured for everyone to follow him.

Severus walked behind the others. He simply couldn't believe he was at Hogwarts once more. When he had graduated, he felt for sure, he wouldn't return. Now, looking around himself, it felt as though nothing had changed. Severus was taken back to his first day at Hogwarts.

_Sitting with Lily on the train, he had been very excited about his first day. Hogwarts would be a new start. A chance to escape his home, and find a new home. Lily had been fearful of Hogwarts. As a muggleborn, she'd known little about the world of magic. While Severus' father had disapproved of magic, his mother had taught him some before. Always in secret, she'd warn him against telling his father._

"_This is just for us, ok?" Severus remembered looking up at her face, worn from their hard life. Nodding, he would be eager to learn more. _

Finally the small group reached the Great Hall, pulling Severus out of his dreams.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter Eight:

Finally the small group reached the Great Hall, pulling Severus out of his dreams.

The feast was delicious. The food was cooked perfectly, Severus thought as he ate his meal. Hogwarts had always had the best meals.

"Right, now that we've eaten, I believe that it's time for us to go over the rules. Now, each night, there are two teachers on duty. There will be roster, and each of you is expected to perform your duty unless you are very ill or otherwise unable to do it. This involves checking students in bed, making sure no one is up and about. Just keeping an eye out for our charges!" Dumbledore said.

"Ok, next on the list is..." Severus drowned Dumbledore's voice out with his thoughts.

"Severus?" Severus' head snapped up at the sound of his name. Dumbledore was looking expectedly at him.

"Severus, I wish to speak to you privately. Follow me." Dumbledore then strode out of the hall. Severus looked around at the other teachers who simply shrugged. Dumbledore was a great man, one that people did not question.

Severus then got up and followed Dumbledore.

Once they reached Dumbledore's office, Severus sat down into the chair that sat across from the large desk. Dumbledore sat on the other side of the desk.

"Severus, I am pleased you are here. However, I wish to speak to you about a job."

"I thought I had a job here?" Severus asked, confused.

"Yes, Yes. But this would be different job. Something that only you and I would know about."

"What?" He asked.

"I wish for you to spy on Voldemort for me." Severus' eyes bulged out of his head. He could not believe what he was hearing.

"I do beg your pardon. I must have misheard you…"

Severus sank back into his chair. This was not at all turning out the way he had imagined.

"I need time to…. Think about this."

"Fine. You may have some time to think about this offer." Dumbledore stood, as did Severus, and then said "Come back tomorrow night at seven o'clock with your answer."

With that Dumbledore turned to his expansive bookshelf, searching for something. Severus took this to mean the conversation had ended.

Letting himself out of the office, Severus stood in shock. This was not what he had expected. How could he spy on Voldemort? The Dark Lord knew all.

The room was dark, and dank. Severus looked around the room. The walls were covered in cobwebs, some with spiders in them. Severus shivered at this. He may have been a dark character, but secretly he hated spiders. Then a wave of cold air gushed into the room. Severus turned to face his master, to whom he bowed.

"Ah Severus. What say you?"

"My Lord, my job at Hogwarts is going well. However I have nothing to report on Dumbledore. It is as though he has forgotten about your powers my lord. He speaks nothing of you." Fear ran through Severus, How would the Dark Lord react to this?

Rising to face his master once more, Severus took in the looks of his master. Once a handsome young man, Voldemort had grown more and more snake with the passing year. His face was often contorted into an angry look. His hands had become slim, with long sharp nails. Voldemort no longer had a smile but instead a smirk on his face permanently. Severus tried not to shudder as he felt Voldemorts' hand on his skin, touching his arm.

"You have been a good servant Severus. Like Lucius said you would be. We will just have to show Dumbledore how serious I am. How powerful I am."

Severus bowed again deeply. "Of course my lord. He cannot, should not doubt you." The words filled Severus with bile.

"Ah, you are right. Now, when you return to Hogwarts, I wish for you to find out more. Ask others about Dumbledore. Take note of what he says and especially what he doesn't say." Severus nodded.

"I am weary of this. You shall return in a week's time. Goodbye." Voldemort rose, and left the room.

The next night, Severus went to Dumbledore's office. After stating the password – Candy canes – He gained access to the room. At first it seemed as though Dumbledore wasn't there. But then the chair behind the desk spun around slowly.

"Ah, Severus I see you're here with your answer, I presume?" Dumbledore asked. Severus nodded.

"I will work for you. Why is it important that I do this though?"

"I am looking for ways to stop Voldemort. The fact that you are in his inner circle will help me fundamentally."

Severus looked his hands. He didn't feel as though he would be of any help.

"Severus, I need you to tell me what his plans are."

Severus nodded. "He wanted me to come here... To spy on you and Hogwarts."

Dumbledore nodded. He had known this of course. Why else would Severus have come, in desperate need for a job?

"I see. Anything else?"

Severus shook his head. "No. He is working on something though, a plan of some kind. I'm not sure what it is yet."

"Well, we must be prepared for what it is. First I want you to study something for me. It will help with your duty to me and to Voldemort."

Lily and James hugged each other happily. "I can't believe it. It's actually going to happen. I'm going to be a father!" James shouted.

Lily shushed him. "The neighbours will complain if we're too loud. Oh, James, can you believe it?" She said smiling. She rubbed her still flat stomach. Soon it would be large and round with child.

James kissed Lily softly. "You're going to make a wonderful mother. And I think I can say I'll be a pretty good dad too." He smirked.

Lily swatted him. "I'm sure you will be!"

"So can we talk about names or is it too early?"

"Well, I've always like the name 'Harry', or maybe 'Robert'?" Lily said.

James hugged her close to him once more. "Harry is a good name, strong. I like it."

Lily smiled to herself. She felt as though she would explode with happiness. She was glad that the news had come when it had. This would take her mind off other things, like Severus. Now she could focus on her family with James.


End file.
